My Live Journal

Feel so alive

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:56:41 GMT

Lately I have conducted a new hobby, and it's just so fascinating to me. I suddenly have a lot of energy and just want to study study study.

Want to be more involved with religion.

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 02:43:21 GMT

So there are two groups: 1) group of people that always strive to be good and close to God, 2) people obsessed with worldly things

After meeting people from group 2, I really really want to be with the first group. My dad was talking about how China was like happy hell. I am sure it depends on the place, not all of China is like that. But I surely do not want to live in a place where nothing really matters in life...except happiness. I hate perverted old guys...and basically people that are really sinful and loving it.

I want my life to be of value and worth something. Therefore, I need to strive to be a better person. I need to finish "the normal christian life." Anyways, I am glad I will be an occupational therapist. I should be able to help a lot of people. Maybe when I become really rich, I can donate money to an orphanage or something. Well, I guess one step at a time. I need to go to church more often. I definitely do not want to be associated with the 2nd group.

Note: Everyone is sinful. Sinful may not necessarily mean evil. Sinful is basically means "not on target with what god wants. " For example, you know you shouldn't steal, yet you steal. Anyways, you know what I mean.

After going to the Hollywood Bowl..

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 17:01:30 GMT

While they were playing, I went through a time warp. Listening to them play reminded me of high school marching band, UCLA marching band, and music of china...I started to drift off and think of who I wanted to play at my wedding...

People will dance to this music:

So what's the plan:

Orchestra:
Violin- Brian Lee (gifted, and plays erhu)
Violin-Addison Luh ( plays erhu)
saxophone- Stephanie ( old roommate, music major)
flute-kyung park
flute-Moses Kim
trombone- *get from UCLA list

Whoever can't think of...*UCLA list

Chinese Orchestra- Get advanced band..
Erhu-Brian Lee
Erhu- Addison Luh
Pipa-Get recommendation from UCLA lsit
Piano- still deciding...

Solo: Stephanie Yu (my cousin at Julliard)
Play the song "Sleeping Beauty Waltz"

*you can give me recommendations too.

How to improve myself/ make myself happier

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 03:41:03 GMT

1. Try and not criticize people. I feel like this is becoming a habit. Everybody has their good and bad. It's not good to always focus on the bad.

2. Dress better and try to be more neat

3. Try not to yell. It's good to tell how i feel, but try to not purposely hurt.

4. Always be appreciative of people when they are helpful.

5. Try to be more easy going, and not get angry at every little thing.

Self analysis

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 06:01:59 GMT

My personality is not very social. I don't particularly like to hangout with lots of people. But I do like meeting new people and understanding their background, basically figuring them out. I have now come to realize that I dislike very superficial people or people that say sh*t about people they really don't know or understand. In a way, why would it matter if superficial ppl say sh*t about you. Why fret? Why cry? Those people are not your friends and don't care about you..so why do you care about what they think or say? It's silly to take life too seriously.

But I have now realized that I do like quirky people. I like the nerdy/quirky people that are just downright strange and h*lla funny. I feel that a lot of my patients are quirky, even my co-workers from the hospital are quirky too. My boss wears sun glasses in doors, threatens the interns to have to wash his car.

Boss: Hey Alice, I am going to teach you about humility by making you wash my car.
Me: You are the king of humility right?
Boss: Yes, that is I.
Me: Then you should show me by example by washing other peoples cars.
Boss: laughs..

Then there's my other co-workers...aww..Stacy's gone..but yeah she's psycho...Anyways, the quirky kind hearted people are the best. My patient x is also funny too. He walks super fast like a maniac and he's 85 yrs old. I can't keep up w/ him. Anyways, my favorite types of people are the quirky ones :).

Uh, I am never satisfied.

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 04:01:19 GMT

Dang it, i am never satisfied..because nobody in this world is perfect. I don't know what the h*ll i want.

Poor guy..I can write a book on him

Mon, 25 May 2009 05:43:41 GMT

So another addition to the story...SOoo my friend took the bus from USC all the way to Cerritos to visit me. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. My dad's out of town so I said that he could stay at his house which is in Norwalk. We checked out the house at night...and it's soooo freakin' scary you don't even know. My dad has never cleaned anything before. He has never cut the grass before. So imagine a home that has tall grass and that's dark, and dusty.

I showed him the empty room where he could stay and there was a huge old dressing table and large mirror across from the bed. Then I unknowingly made things worse, I told him that his closet can tunnel across to the other side of the hallway. Well...this made him really scared. We quickly moved the sofa to block the closest to make sure that nothing would pop out. However we haven't solved the big mirror in front of the bed. He said, "I feel like someone is watching me." I..making things worse said..."someone is watching you." He jumped up and got scared. HAHA..I am so mean..I made him sooo scared. We need to change all the lights too..it's all yellow..makes the place look haunted. Then me making things worse...I told him ghost stories to try and ease his mind. They were funny stories. I felt kinda bad leaving him there. So before i left, I yelled " BYE !!!" while he was walking back and I saw him literally just jump up. Oh man...this boy is just too funny. I have so many stories from him.

Note 1: Towel story
Note 2: Swine Flu: He's so nice, he bought me a swine flu mask ^^

Summer..

Wed, 13 May 2009 09:27:21 GMT

I am one of those types of people that need to do stuff. Otherwise I have an excess of energy...and can't sleep. It's 2:26am. sigh..As a result I am analyzing the world..aiyah...-.-...

Things to do over summer.
-play ping pong
-hang out with Lerry Tin
-play tennis
-clean my room
-internship
-buy a case for my laptop
-figure out Financial aid
-waive ship July

ACK! Stressed out!

Tue, 05 May 2009 07:05:39 GMT

DANG IT!!! WHY DID I HAVE TO FORGET MY FOLDER!!!!WHY AM I SO STRESSED OUT! GEEZE! IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Goals for next year

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:44:12 GMT

1. Sign of for Spanish classes.
2. Practice using ping pong paddle with pips (Excalibur- name)
3. Practice the guitar and go to church meetings more often.

Great day today

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 04:27:54 GMT

Early in the morning I exploited the free printing at the OT house. I printed 20 copies of my resume and it was still not enough for the career fair. At the career fair, people complimented my name badge and asked if I was already an OT :p. Another thing that really made my day was that all the hirers loved the fact that I had experience working at Rancho Los Amigos...whoohooo! I am so lucky to be able to have first internship there.

Another ecstatic moment today was when I talked to my adviser, she said some awesome stuff. I asked her if I would have a chance at working at my new fieldwork site. She said people don't usually hire level II (first) fieldworkers. It's usually the last level II fieldwork that's important. However, she said that I have a good personality fit with the site and that they may hire me.

She said, " You have a very calm personality, and I think the patients would like that."

In the past she also said that I was very approachable and easy to talk to.

...she is so good at making my day very very enjoyable. How is she able to understand me so well XP! heh..

Always Rejoice

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 07:40:36 GMT

More and more it's harder to see the bigger picture in life. It's little stresses that really can take a toll on you. But I feel that worrying about that stuff is really useless. You just gotta do what you gotta do. Things are going to happen regardless of how you feel, so it's important to have a clear head. Therefore, gotta put on a smile and take a stroll through life.

Sometimes things are not in our control...

But it's important to always rejoice. Rejoice in everything that I have :) I am reminded of this hymn...

Always rejoice,
Unceasingly pray,
In everything give thanks.

For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus,
The will of God in Christ for you.
Therefore always rejoice, unceasingly pray,
In everything give thanks.

Do not quench the Spirit,
Do not despise prophecies,
Approve all things,
Hold fast to what is good,
Abstain from every kind of evil.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." {Matthew 6:25-34}

Jewel-hands

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 17:30:01 GMT

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

Tuesday March 31, 2009.

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 04:47:23 GMT

March 30---> March 31.

Loosing sight...

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 05:42:18 GMT

Lately I have so much work that I have been forgetting what I prioritize in life, which includes: enjoying life, meeting people, and seeing the beauty of everything. I am always grumpy, and whiny. Lately, I haven't played ping pong for a really long time. I truly enjoy playing ping pong, however, I feel like I have been giving everything up to do homework/for my exams. I guess I should study like crazy (early) and catch a few ping pong times. Sigh, I am so antisocial.

I need a really good vacation...think...Bahama cruise...Caribbean cruise...or even kayaking would be fun. I need to de-stress and relax.

Think of happy thoughts :)

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 04:27:50 GMT

Think of ...

I still have pretty good health...yay.

Writing this for my own therapeutic reasons

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 00:06:36 GMT

I really don't like my classmates. Why are all of them so straight dammit.

Every time I get into a head to head situations with them, I really miss Tina..Philip...people that are normal. I especially miss Tina because she thinks like me.

I hate how so many OT students students in general always think that they are right and other people are wrong.

For example, we talked about dealing with people that are homophobic (people scared of gay people). What do you do with them? "We educate them." But who is to say who is right and who is wrong? Just because you think it's being okay being gay doesn't mean that other people have to think that way. I am not against gay people, but I feel that it's very belittling when people say...we need to make people smarter by making them think like us. We need to make people see that it's ok to be gay.

I mean, I guess.. sure if you are born gay then you're born gay. But I just don't like it when other people think they are right over other people. Show your reasoning...

Yeah..I know the gay activists are going to start knocking on my door.

Iono...I am having a very blah week...

Another one bites the dust

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:22:27 GMT

I really hate it when guys are easy. But are all guys just that easy? There once was a experiment where a guy apologized to a girl when a girl asked to sleep with him because he said "no, I have a girlfriend." I guess biologically they are just different? I really don't understand guys.

So far there's only one guy that I know that would not sleep with a girl before marriage. But I don't think you can really use that as a way to decide on who to marry....

sigh...

But as Andrew says, " If the guy wants to sleep with you that means he's attracted to you."

Mmm...I am kind of hard to please. I'll see how it goes.

-AC

Too much focus on the self, but watever it's reflection time.

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 05:15:18 GMT

I have now realized that I am a spoiled brat. But I like it like that...:p

Notes on who to marry.

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:56:50 GMT

I have now realized that I can't stand people that are "A type." I can be best friends with someone with "type A", but according to my personality I don't think that would be a good idea marry that type of person. I guess the type A-/B+ is ok, but not the Nazi crazy clean people that can see every speck of dust in the air.

But my mom is "A type" and we get along fine? So does that mean that it's good to find someone that counterbalances you? I think because my mom is my my mom, I let it pass. However, if I had to do bill work and chores with her. I don't know if I would be able to stand it.

So what's good then? Someone that's clean and organized, but not obsessively anal. It's funny, some people think that I am messy. However, during my 4 years at UCLA with 4 different roommates. I am cleaner than 3/4 of 4 of them. They ranked me as really clean! HA! But those girls were really messy.

Abijah-cut her nails in the room! ewww!
Daisy- Messiest girl I have ever met. It was all junk underneath her bed! She also never threw away trash or cleaned her room.
Clara-super clean person.
Stephanie- Ok, but had a bit of stuff too.

SO yeah, anyways...after working with a Type A person. I have to say..no way. Why?
1. They get angry easy.
2. From number 1, this means that they may get stressed out easily.
3. This means that they may die younger.
4. They may make my life more stressful than need be.
5. I don't like getting yelled at.
6. I like people that are more relaxed and calm. Being stressed out doesn't help! It always makes things worse!

My daily lesson on life (Journals are good for the soul.)

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 20:58:59 GMT

I believe that journals are a great way to keep track of all the things that I learn in one day, which is usually a lot. However, after a couple of days, I usually forget many things. In retrospect I feel that only a few things stick out, but I want to remember more things. So how do I remember more things? By writing in a journal. Viola, so here I am.

In class the lecturer started talking about heart problems...A lot of things all blended together because I haven't familiarized myself with a lot of the terms. Actually I learned the terms before, but already forgot the jargon. But some of things she said made me laugh out loud.

If you have heart problems..

..you shouldn't change temperatures to frequently. For example, go out in the snow then jump in the jaccuzi. It'll make your heart go in shock.

Ha...it made me think back to last week when it was raining I jumped into the icy cold pool, then to the jacuzzi.
__________________________________________________________________________

So more and more I am figuring out what I want in life.

Life is so weird. So right now, there's a boy that I like. I'll call him person z. ( He's probably reading this and smiling right now because he knows I am refering to him). I am not sure if it's right to like someone when I just broke up with Foster not too long ago. But there's a huge difference...between them. I noticed this after I talked to Foster not too long ago to see how he was doing.

Foster:

After talking to Foster, I believe that I really made the right decision. We don't have much chemistry at all. The thing that made our relationship last was more of unwritten mutual return being nice to each other. So how did I come to this insight?

I haven't talked to him in maybe a month? Since I had that Hawaiian ping pong thing. I call and ask, "how is everything going?"

He says in his usual pleasant/ happy tone, " Everything's good. Same old same old."

I think to myself, " I haven't talked to you in a month, and that's the conversation we have!!!! This conversation sucks! How can nothing at all happen within a month!"

So in order to keep the conversation going..I tell him everything that has happened with the sister house, and updates on my life. Then after realizing that I was the only one talking, I asked him to say more things because I called to see how HE was doing. -.-...

After forcing him to speak..all he talked about was getting a new PS3. Ok, I am a good conversationaist, but how in the world do I work with that?

So even though Foster is a really great guy, he's not for me. He may be the best guy in the world, but I now believe that chemistry is an important factor. So I feel that arranged marriages...will leave people with someone they can possibly tolerate, but the chances of falling in love with them is really small. It'll probably be a contract agreement where people are loyal to each other because they are good people.

But, as Belle from "Beauty and the Beast" sings..."

I want more than this provincial life....
________________________________________________________________________

There's a huge difference between me and Z's conversations vs. Foster's.

I feel like I can talk to person Z forever~I always want to be around him and I feel like smiling when I see him.

I've never really been in a relationship where we are both in the clouds...so I'll just enjoy it for what it is. Who knows what will happen tomorow.

Mmm, class has started and I am late.

laterz~

EHhh...so much for a cold head...

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 08:12:47 GMT

Current mood: embarrassed

alcohol=baddddddddddddd

But who's afraid of who!!! I ain't afraid of nothin'! I especially ain't afraid of YOUUUU!!!!

A bit of nostaligia

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 08:34:39 GMT

James mentioned how in the past I used to help him with his English. I could tell he started to reminisce and I started to as well.

Random thoughts that popped into my head. I believed it was when I first met him that I helped him with his English. Ha, back then I remember that he got sick and needed help with medical terminology translation. Because he got sick, his nickname used to be "chicken pox." I still refer him as "chicken pox" sometimes. He used to live in the living room with 2 girls. That was pretty ghetto. Then he lived in the blue house. Now he lives in another apartment.

...man time goes fast...I can't believe I was there all those times...

We are so OG...I've known that guy for a long time.

Books I need to read when I have spare time

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 08:54:03 GMT

1. Catch 22 (I still can't believe I haven't finished it!)
2. Princess Bride
3. Fight Club
4. Jane Austen books

Life is full of twists and turns

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 00:41:06 GMT

I feel like I never know where I am headed. One minute I am hanging out with my high school friends complaining about how grueling band practice was, the next minute my friends are all getting married and finding a different meaning in life. Currently, I like the state that I am in. I am around people about my own age and I can do the activities that I enjoy. However, more and more I have realized how uncertain many things in life are.

I am always meeting different people and a variety of things happen within my life. How in the world did I get from hanging out with James Wonpu and Chloe to hanging out with the Taiwanese gang and playing ping pong with the really Chinese people. James Wonpu used to be the most Chinese guy ever~ now the people I hangout with think he's American. Such a crazy world. It always amazes me how I got to where I am right now. How in the world did I end up living in the sister house??or even at USC?? Who would have thought? 3 years ago I was thinking about doing law or perhaps business.

But I believe that everybody in my life has a reason for being in my life. Everyone that I have met has contributed to who I am today. Even though I always knew that Foster was not the one for me, I truly believe that he has changed me for the better. It is because of him that I am a better person. I owe a lot to Foster, and I wonder if he even knows how much of an impact he has made on my life.

Lately I constantly feel confused in life. I don't know what I want and my path is uncertain. I want to be alone, yet I want someone to love. I am starting to believe that I am more girly than I thought. I love hugs and kisses. However, I don't want to just randomly pick someone with my eyes closed. I feel that if I choose wrongly then that person may suffer. I really really HATE breaking up with people. Foster did everything that he was supposed to and yet I STILL BROKE UP WITH HIM. It's like WTH? Why does it have to be like that. I apologized, treated him to dinner, and gave him a nice gift. I really feel like...how the heck could I do this to him. But I had to do what I had to do. It would have been worse if after 10 years we broke up. He told me he felt like one of those nice guys that ended up last.

But how in the world do you pick someone that you know you won't breakup? That is the question that is unanswerable. There are so many different variables in life that really...makes it so that..nothing is certain. Or if I phrase it more optimistically, nothing is impossible.

note to self: Quit thinking so much. Whatever happens happens. Enjoy what you have and be thankful that you have supportive friends.